The Beginning

This is a story of the journey of four women searching for laughter, love, and libation.

In the rainy city of Portland, Oregon we find ourselves dreaming of the perfect patio. As the late May rain pounds outside, we are waiting impatiently for the sidewalks to dry and the sun to shine on us. As four social and most single ladies, we will endeavor this summer to find the perfect Portland bar patio.

For us, the perfect patio has three necessary components: the potential for laughter, love, and libation. We will be rating each bar we go to by these standards. We will be your guides on the road to the perfect Portland patio and will share with you the patio-nos we will undoubtedly encounter in our quest.

So put on your sunscreen, find a designated driver, and join us!

Episode 29: Vendetta

Tags

andy wood, dating, drinking, negging, patio, Portland, single ladies

“Bridgetown Recap”

Episode 29 Vendetta

Join us as we take a tour of Vendetta. The ladies discuss what happened at Bridgetown. They talk about their lesbian status, famous buttocks, the game, negging, meeting girls on airplanes, and dirty talk. Visit the Bridgetown website to see who we are talking about.

Guests: Andy Wood

Check out Andy’s podcast at Probably Science

But more importantly: Is it ok to buy a girl a drink? Is it ok to pretend your 16 during sex?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.

Episode 28: Not so live from Bridgetown Comedy Festival

Tags

alex gavlick, dating, drinking, luggage trams, panties, patio, Portland, single ladies, Virginia Jones

“not-so-live from bridgetown comedy festival”

Episode 28 – Space Room

Join us as we take a tour of Spaceroom. The ladies take a break from their Bridgetown responsibilities to grab a quick drink and give love advice to an 18 year old, talk about the LA sunlight’s effect on goth skin, what real panties look like, and how even at a drunken free for all boys still don’t ask for your number.

Guests: Alex Gavlick and Virginia Jones

But more importantly: Is whiskey a good substitute for lunch and dinner?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.

Episode 27: Tillicum

Tags

dating, drinking, first date, friend, magicians, patio, Portland, single ladies, tillicum, veronica heath

“magic gone wrong”

Episode 27- Tillicum

Join us as we take a tour of Tillicum.  The ladies discuss the results of dating magicians, bad judgement calls when drinking, Bridgetown Comedy Festival, going from first date to being married a mere 3 months later, and Sukis. It’s awesome.

Guests: Veronica Heath

But more importantly: What do you do when a magician looses his trick in your bed?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.

Listen to us on Funemployment Radio!

Tags

Andy Dick, funemployment radio, Greg Nibbler, Kenny B, Penis, Sarah X Dylan, Tall boys

Hey all,

Cera and Char-q just finished recording with our friends at Funemploment Radio. Listen here to get this weeks Patioh! Patino! Fix. We are taking a break to attend the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, but will be back soon with tales to tell.

The ladies of Patioh! Patino! host a Singles Trivia event on 4.11

Tags

drinking, singles, trivia, whiskey

If you’re a single gal or gent, whether gay, straight or “whatever,” you are invited to join us for a chance to meet up with some other fine folks! ShanRock’s Triviology will create a fun atmosphere while encouraging you to mingle with new people. That’s right – no first date where you’re asking questions as if you’re in a job interview! Instead, you’ll be playing trivia with different people each round, so that the you can meet lots of different men/women/new friends. Just show up this humpday, relax with a drink (drink special for the night is lemon ginger whiskey squared), and we will lead the way! Oh, and it’s FREE! 7:30 pm Hump Day! 4.11.12 Random Order Coffee House 18th and Alberta

Episode 26: Roadside Attraction

Tags

Alec VanRossum, Becca, Chazz Madrigal, dating, drinking, Kenny Sessler, patio, Portland, Roadside Attraction, single ladies

“to love or not to love”

Patioh! Patino! Episode 26

Join us as we take a tour of Roadside Attraction. We learn it is possible to meet someone on internet dating, nerds make good lovers, who you should give your number to and how, how to improve your lovemaking skills, sex noises, and more. Hilarity ensues.

Guests: Kenny Sessler from Funemployment Radio, his lady Becca, also Chazz Madrigal and Alec VanRossum return.

But more importantly: Does love disgust you? What would you call your snoodle?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.

Smiths/Morrissey Night Tonight!

Tags

april 2nd, birthday, dance, morrissey, Portland, the smiths

Our good friend Happy Birthday to Chazz! Celebrate tonight with us and him at Dig-a-Pony. 

Come swoon with Dj Anjali and Chazz Madrigal as they celebrate all things Moz at Dig A Pony! You know the drill dress smart and come get sweaty to the best cuts from Morrissey and the boys, rockabilly, new wave, garage and more.

See you there!

 

 

Episode 25: Hungry Tiger Too

Tags

dating, drinking, patio, Portland, prank calls, single ladies, snoodle, whitney streed

“snoodles”

Patioh! Patino! Episode 25

Join us as we take a tour of Hungry Tiger Too. My mom gives us advice on how to meet men in grocery stores, dating men to attain designer shoes, we make up new words including box job and snoodle, nuclear cowboys, and we have phone in guests. Hilarity ensues.

Guests: Whitney Streed, Chazz Madrigal, and Alec VanRossum.

But more importantly: Are you always surprised by the ending of Rom Com movies?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.

Episode 24: Windows

Tags

dating, drinking, gabe dinger, patio, Portland, ron funches, single ladies, swingers, Windows

“belgian fries vs freedom fries”

Patioh! Patino! Episode 24

Join us as we take a tour of Windows. The ladies discuss the fact that the Belgian accent is the worst ever, breaking up on stage, singers and deviled eggs, dealbreakers, and if the vagina was an emoticon what would it be. Hilarity ensues.

Guests: Gabe Dinger and Ron Funches.

But more importantly: What is the point of a collar? What would you wear to a swinger party?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.

Episode 23: Holmans

Tags

christen manville, dating, drinking, first date, gina jameson, holmans, ok cupid, patio, Portland, single ladies, walmart

“walmart is a great first date”

Patioh! Patino! Episode 23

Join us as we take a tour of Holmans. The ladies discuss where the best place to meet a guy is, creepers, waking up next to a dopey the dwarf tattoo, and Random Order Cherry Pie for the Twin Peaks showing at Hollywood Theater, and Portland Pudding Massacre. Also, we visited our friends at Patti Smith West, an amazing consignment shop that has many great finds and would be a great place to get your lady or gent a gift! Hilarity ensues.

Guests: Christen Manville and Gina Jameson

But more importantly: Did Patsy create the Jersey Turnpike? Where is your favorite patio?

Subscribe to Patioh! Patino! at ITunes, Follow us on Twitter, or like us on Facebook. Feel free to email us your questions, concerns, and compliments to patiohpatino@gmail.com.